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29 Awkward and confusing facts about every American Desi’s life

1. You have two names: the correct pronunciation for your Indian family and friends, and the Americanized pronunciation for everyone else.

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

You every time someone turns an Ajay into an “A.J.” or an Anamika into an Anna-Meeka.

2. You get made fun of for your American accent when you go to India…

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

3. And you’re self-conscious about your parents’ Indian accents when your American friends come over.

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

4. You have spice-craving Indian taste in a bland American culinary landscape.

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

Where nobody makes anything as spicy or delicious as your mom does.

5. The downside: bringing elaborate Indian meals to school for lunch while all your friends had PB&Js.

The downside: bringing elaborate Indian meals to school for lunch while all your friends had PB&Js.

6. Constantly being asked this awful question: “But where are you really from?”

7. And: “What was it like growing up in the third world?”

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

Hey, now, don’t say that about New Jersey.

8. The most difficult decision you made in college was whether to join a dance team, and which one.

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

9. You’ve been called a coconut at least once in your life.

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

10. Every time you misbehaved growing up, your parents threatened to send you to India.

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

11. And their attempts to keep you connected to your roots meant you spent your childhood in and out of Bharatnatyam and Carnatic singing lessons.

And their attempts to keep you connected to your roots meant you spent your childhood in and out of Bharatnatyam and Carnatic singing lessons.

12. Going to the one Bollywood theater in your town meant running into all of your family friends.

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

13. Your biggest secret is the hardcore Bollywood playlists on your iPod and Spotify.

Your biggest secret is the hardcore Bollywood playlists on your iPod and Spotify.

14. Every time you go back to India to visit your relatives, they’re constantly calling you healthy*.

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

*Healthy (noun): Aunty code for fat. Just say it like it is, Aunty. All those American McBurgers have made me a McFatty.

15. But at the same time, they’ll feed you relentlessly until “Eat, beta!” sounds like a threat.

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

16. Another well-meaning threat: “Don’t worry, we’ll find you a nice Indian husband/wife.”

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

Even though they’re usually kidding when they say this, you can’t help but get suspicious that someday they’ll actually follow through.

17. Which makes bringing home a non-brown significant other extremely awkward.

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

18. When people ask you why your English is so good:

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

19. Or if you speak Hindu:

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

20. You grew up confused between “Indian-American” and “American Indian.”

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

When you’ve been asked enough times whether you’re a “dot Indian” or a “feather Indian,” everything begins to lose meaning.

21. Your parents constantly make you download and test various free international calling apps.

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

To stay in touch with their parents.

22. Every time someone you know goes to India, you send a shopping list.

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

23. And every time you go, you in turn become a delivery service for laddoos and sari blouses.

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

24. You know cricket is in your blood and all, but you truly understand baseball better. Oops.

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

25. Being repped in popular culture by characters that are math nerds or otherwise caricatured stereotypes.

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

26. Everyone congratulated you when a brown Miss America was crowned even though you did literally nothing.

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

27. When your Indian-from-India friends reminisce about their craaazy childhoods, you just listen quietly…

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

28. Knowing that you had a crazy and wonderful childhood too, as a permanent citizen of chaos and madness.

29 Awkward And Confusing Facts About Every American Desi's Life

29. And you wouldn’t trade your insane, baffling, incredible American Desi life for anything in the world.

8 thoughts on “29 Awkward and confusing facts about every American Desi’s life

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